In a shocking turn of events, Amazon’s latest attempt to engage with sellers by asking the question, “What are your top three core values for your business?” has turned into an epic roast session. The thread, posted by Spencer from Amazon, was meant to foster a sense of community and collaboration but quickly devolved into a firestorm of frustration. Let’s dive into the best responses:
JandR_Wristbands kicked things off with the directness we’ve come to love from sellers:
“I don’t know @Spencer_Amazon, what are yours?” 🔥
Score: JandR 1, Amazon 0. We’re all waiting with bated breath for Spencer’s personal manifesto, but somehow, we think that’s gonna be a long wait.
CraftedWoods offered a more thoughtful approach, outlining core values like Creativity, Adaptability, and Commitment… which would have been great if they didn’t also call out Amazon for its “ever-changing rules” and never-ending category chaos. Sounds like someone’s been through the wringer one too many times.
Then came DigitelTechnologyLtd, who didn’t mince words:
“What difference does it make what our 3 core values are unless they match Amazon’s?”
Brutal honesty followed, as they listed their top values:
- Refund the Buyer even if they’re lying.
- Refund the Buyer when they return your product as a crumpled mess.
- Be blackmailed by Buyers with bad feedback.
We sense Spencer quietly exiting the chat.
Natural_Noble brought legal thunder to the thread, citing Amazon’s core values as “deeply flawed” and likely illegal (hello, Competition & Markets Act of 1998). Their top value? Finding someone at Amazon who can “sort the bloody problem out.” Yeah, that seems like a pretty solid business goal these days.
Don_Dadda_Unlimited pulled no punches, laying bare the real struggles of Amazon sellers:
- Customer satisfaction.
- Fast delivery.
- …Oh wait, just kidding! Thanks to Amazon’s beloved DD+7 policy (where funds are held hostage), their real core values are basically non-existent.
And just when we thought it couldn’t get more raw, TheHairShop brought the truth with three all-too-real core values:
- Buy low.
- Sell high.
- Don’t let Amazon undercut you with the same products.
Amazon may as well just pin this to their internal strategy meeting rooms.
Finally, JillyB wrapped up the session with a mic drop:
“These ‘Engaging with Amazon’ threads are a waste of time if there is never any feedback.”
Ouch! But also… true? The thread was meant to foster engagement, but all it’s done is highlight how disengaged sellers feel with Amazon’s policies.
As the seller revolt rages on, one thing is clear: Amazon may have asked for sellers’ core values, but it got served a healthy dose of truth instead. We’ll be eagerly waiting for Spencer’s response. Or… will we?
Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment of “Engaging with Amazon,” where Spencer (or, let’s be honest, probably a bot) will undoubtedly continue to duck and weave through the storm of seller outrage. 🌪️
